I’ve had the same best friend since I was 14. 7 years of consistent friendship, mutual hatred of 99% of things going on in the world. I considered her my sister that I never ever had. We were so much alike with our ideas, morals, beliefs, likes and dislikes. Joined Cosmetology together, dropped out together, road trips, matching tattoos, stealing each others movies, clothes and jewelry.
But this year we’ve grown so distant from each other. Sure I know we’ve both gotten busy with life throwing bullshit our way. But that never meant I was okay with it, it hurt to not see the girl I was closest with.
When I found out I was pregnant, I took her out to lunch to tell her my exciting news. I knew I’d a confused responce considering I always told her I didn’t want kids for years and we always made fun of girls from highschool who got pregnant. But when it actually happens to you, of course everything changes. She seemed shocked, confused and wasn’t sure exactly what to say. I hoped she’d at least say congratulations or SOMETHING positive but I never got any of that. Thats when the distance started and it only got worse. I saw her maybe twice after that, all out of MY effort to see her. She never came to my baby showers, never visited after I had her, completely stopped all contact with me. I made an attempt to figure out why and all she told was “You should know I’m not happy for you because of a pregnancy” and that was the final straw.
I was there for her when her mom died when we were 15. She called me at 7am and told me, I was over at her house in less than 10 minutes and didn’t leave until midnight. I was there for her during her first relationship and all the stupid heartbreak, jealously and insecurity she went through. I was there for her when she got alcohol poisoning and almost got the living shit beat of her by her dad, I ditched 3 classes to make sure she was safe. But yet she can’t be there for me in the slighest way during the happiest and most important time in my life. I love her like family. I always will. But I just can’t have someone like that in my life, I just don’t need that negativity. Maybe she thinks now that I have a baby I’m this completely different person and I’m nothing like how I was. Which is completely untrue to the highest point. Look at me, I’m still the same person. I’ve grown up and realized the world isn’t as terrible and cruel as I thought it was when I was 15. Her head is still stuck in this mindset that the world is out to get you and everything is against her. Mine isn’t.
My daughter is the most amazing thing in this universe. I would do anything for her in a heartbeat. She is my world, my heart, my queen, my LIFE. If someone can’t find it in themselves to be happy for me after all the shit I’ve helped them with and been there for then I do NOT need someone like that in my life. I will always love her like a sister, but I simply do not have the time nor effort to put in to try and make someone have happiness for me.
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